Cole Howard Thurman was born on September 18,2009 at 7:57 pm.
He weighted 6lbs and 14 ozs.
God is so very Good!!!

Already sucking his or her thumb

Dear Friends and Family,

Failed adoption
In June of 2008 it looked like we were facing a failed international adoption, something I never thought would happen when we began this adoption. On September 1, 2008 it was confirmed, as the deadline for referrals from Vietnam came and went without a referral. This was certainly no surprise and entirely what we had been expecting to happen since June.

No where to turn
Between spring and the deadline we looked at many other options, hoping one might be available to us so that we could grow our family. However it seemed that no matter where we looked there were roadblocks after roadblocks both in terms of finances and other resources. In short, after much prayer and investigation we felt there was absolutely nowhere for us to turn except to stay put and wait. Others in our agency were moving on, in fact most were, in one way or another but that was simply not an option for us. While I was incredibly grieved and sad about the situation I felt nothing to do but to wait on God to move. Little by little the grief over the loss began to subside yet it never really went away. I had resigned myself to the fact that we would be parents when God wanted us to be parents but that it may be much further out than what I had hoped for and wanted.

Surprise
In January 2009 we were struck with the surprise that I was pregnant. One think we were overjoyed but actually we were quite scared. We had run into so many roadblocks on this journey to parenthood that we wondered if more heartache was in store for us over the next few weeks or months. We waited week by week knowing that getting past the first trimester was a major hurdle in a successful pregnancy. Finally in the 13th week we learned that we indeed had a viable pregnancy. At that point we were overjoyed! Please continue to pray for our child and us as we wait for his/her arrival into our lives.

Detour
What we thought would be a journey to half way across the world to Vietnam to bring home our first child looks like it will be a much shorter trip over to Greensboro hospital. Thank you for all of your prayers over the years. It mean more than you know. Also, please continue to pray for us and our child as we look to complete the last part of this difficult and often surprising journey.

Ashley

P.S. We will keep this blog and periodically update it because it is an integral part of our journey to our child.

From JCICS

September 8, 2008

Following our update of September 1, 2008, it is Joint Council's
understanding that the Government of Vietnam has issued a formal
diplomatic note to the United States Government naming a high
ranking Vietnamese official as Vietnam's lead negotiator and also
requesting that both governments begin negotiations towards a new
Memorandum of Agreement regarding intercountry adoption.

Joint Council applauds the Government of Vietnam for taking this
very important step and encourages the U.S. Government to respond in
a most positive manner. For more information on the ongoing
diplomacy, please visit the State Department's website.

MOU Expires

Many have asked for an update ont he adoption. Labor Day the MOU expired. Below is from the JCICS concerning the situation in Vietnam and the expiration of the MOU.


Joint Council Update

Program International Relations Initiative

Date September 1, 2008

Regarding Vietnam

Today, September 1, 2008, the current Memorandum of Agreement (MOA)
between the United States and Vietnam expires. As a result,
intercountry adoption is effectively suspended until a new MOA is
signed and implemented by both countries. Joint Council sees the
suspension of intercountry adoption as a tragedy for children and for
the families willing to provide a loving family to Vietnamese
orphans.

Joint Council and its Member Organizations remain committed to the
children and families of Vietnam and continue to work closely with
both governments. Completing existing adoption cases and putting a
new MOA in place remain the top priorities.

Joint Council remains confident that a new MOA is achievable
especially in light of recent events. Joint Council's A Child's
Right Campaign, the subsequent letter from Members of the U.S.
Congress to the Department of State, arrests of corrupt practitioners
in Vietnam, a discussion of the Hague Convention by Vietnam's
National Assembly, a joint statement by President Bush and Prime
Minister Nguyen Tan Dung, the U.S. Department of State's official
request for a lead Vietnamese negotiator and other recent events, all
demonstrate that both parties take this seriously and are interested
in resolving this crisis.

While some confusion remains regarding the processing of existing
adoption cases, it is Joint Council's understanding that if a child
has been referred to a family and that referral has been approved by
the Vietnam Department of Intercountry Adoption (DIA), the adoption
can proceed to completion. It is important that Adoption Service
Providers and potential adoptive parents recognize that a referral
may not continue on to completion unless the referral has been
approved by the DIA. Families should consult with their Adoption
Service Provider in making this determination.

We continue to seek clarity on all aspects of the adoption process in
Vietnam and have suggested that the DIA refrain from returning family
dossiers to their respective adoption service provider at this time.
Unfortunately many questions remain such as when a new MOA is in
place, will existing dossiers be considered valid. When this and
other determinations are made, we will notify you promptly.

Please know that Joint Council remains closely involved and will keep
you notified as significant events occur.

Sincerely,

Tom

TOM DIFILIPO | President & CEO | Joint Council

It is uncertain whether there will be a new MOU signed with Vietnam, which would allow adoptions to continue. Unfortunately, there has been no movement in our agency and the likely hood that we will receive a referral from our agency before September 1, 2008 is very slim.

As a piece of good news, our agency tells us that they are moving into a new country where we will be able to adopt from. The timeline on this is uncertain.

We know and believe that God has led us in the direction of adoption and while it seems that the adoption has been placed on hold for now we believe in God's perfect timing we will complete this adoption. We so appreciate your prayers for us through all of this and ask that you continue to pray with us going forward.

Ashley

Sad News

On Friday we found out that the DIA (Department of International
Adoption) announced the decision to process all adoptions for those who
have referrals by September 1, 2008. Previously, the DIA has said that
they will process all adoptions for those whose dossiers are logged
into the system by September 1, 2008. While it is possible that we will
receive a referral by then it is very possible that we will not.

We are caught somewhere between hope and grief over the potential loss.
We expect to know more as the week unfolds and over the course of the
next few weeks. I will keep the blog updated as new information
unfolds. We appreciate your prayers for us during this uncertain time.

News

There are a couple of things happening right now that I wanted to share with everyone so that you will know how to pray.

Officials at Phu Tho are now willing to allow two investigations with 7 cases, including our two from our agency. While this may not does not affect our adoption directly it is good news and the bottle neck that exist may start flowing again.

Also, from our agency we have heard that the DIA has requested guidance from the Prime Minister on the handling of dossiers and referrals if the MOU is not extended
about 13 hours ago The US Embassy in Hanoi scheduled the next agency meeting for May 29,2008. 1 day ago"

Please be in prayer that those who have influence on this whole process, in official positions, that their hearts would be softened.

Progress

We received a bit of good news yesterday that our agency shared with us. They are now licensed in two new provinces, Ha Giang and Lai Chau. We continue to anticipate good news after a very long wait and will continue to share good news, no matter how small, as it comes along. Thank you again for your prayers!!!!

Rob and Ashley

There has been movement in the world of adoption in Vietnam. I seems that there have been many families from various agencies who have received their approval and are getting ready to travel to Vietnam to bring home their child. It is good news and very heartening to know that the system that seemed to come to a grinding halt for part of fall and winter is starting to move again.

In addition there have been several agencies who have said that off the record the DIA has indicated that those whose dossiers are logged into the system will be able to complete their adoption. While the log in date for this is still a mystery it is still very good news and since we have had our dossier logged into the DIA since August 2007 I believe we will be apart of that group.

Thank you for your continued prayers!

Many of you have been asking what is going on with the adoption and I wanted to wait until I have solid information. To begin with our agency is building new relationships with new provinces and working basically to rebuild their program after the events in fall. They recently secured a new license in a province where no other agency in working through. They are also working with 4 other provinces to secure new licenses and if obtained then our agency will be the only agency working there. They believe that they will be able to obtain 40 referrals in 2008. This is terrific news after very long delays.

However, it seems the problem now is in the larger picture between the US Embassy and the Vietnam. The inter-country agreement is scheduled to expire on September 1, 2008. There are working on renewing the agreement now but it seems that there is a great deal of posturing and it is likely that it won’t be renewed by September 1, 2008.

There are numerous rumors as to what will happen should the agreement not be renewed. Some have said that Vietnam will continue to allow those whose dossier is logged into the system by August 2008 to complete their adoption. This would be the best situation not only for us but all US families wishing to adopt from Vietnam.

However, the most recent report from our agency is that the US Embassy is pressuring the Department of International Adoption (DIA) in Vietnam to issue a public statement as to their plans concerning this issue. They have not made an official statement but our agency has said that the DIA is indicating a much earlier log in date. Since our dossier was logged in, in August 2007 that really doesn’t concern us personally, though we are concerned for others who are behind us in this process.

Most recently, another adoption agency issued a statement that the DIA has indicated that only those with referrals by August 2008 will be allowed to continue. This is of great concern for us. While we believe we could receive a referral by August there is no guarantee. While, at this point, this is only a rumor it is a very unsettling one. Please pray for us in this process that we will be able to complete the adoption by September. It is of great comfort to us that we have so many surrounding us in prayers through this process.

Anniversary

It was a year ago this week that we signed the contract with Orphans Overseas. At that time the estimated wait time was 12-14 months from the time you signed the contract. The delays and setbacks have been disappointing and but God has been good to us in the midst of it all. We know that God has the right child for us and at the right time he will bring us together. Thank you all for your prayers for us during this process.

Still Waiting

Things are still in flux in the world of Vietnam adoption. There are so many families like us who are waiting for news and hoping good news is coming soon. There are others in our agency with a referral, complete picture in hand and the province is not releasing one more document they need to move forward. My heart so goes out to those in this position.

Our agency right now seems to be at a standstill and seemingly nothing is happening. Tad is over in Vietnam right now working with provinces and and Vietnamese officials. We are praying that God will give him favor with those he is working with and open doors. He is scheduled to return the first week of December and I am hoping he will have good news when he returns. Until then we are just waiting.

A Detour

We received an e-mail this afternoon from Orphans Overseas, our agency, and it seems after meeting with quite a few people Tad, the agency director, has decided to withdraw the agency from working with those the provinces Phu Tho and Thai Nguyen.

Currently these are the only two provinces where Orphans Overseas receives referrals. They plan to re-enter when things have settled down. This is not the news that we were hoping for but we know that the Lord is in control. Fortunately, our agency it attempting to build relationships with other provinces to continue the referral process and to continue completing adoptions.

On the bright side I do believe that this doesn't change our timeline much. We were told a few weeks ago that we could estimate receiving a referral 1-3 months from now and while it won't be in one month it will still probably be within that time frame.
Please continue to pray with us in this process.

Prayer Request

The DIA (Department of International Adoption) in Vietnam has stopped processing adoptions for those trying to adopt from the US for two provinces Phu Tho and Thai Nguyen. This is due to pressure from the US Embassy.

Unfortunately, our agency primarily gets it's referrals from those two provinces at this time. This will mean delay in our timeline but we are not sure how much of a delay right now. On a positive note, our agency is working to establish relationships with other provinces to get referrals in the pipeline.

Tad Kincaid, the director of our agency is over in Vietnam for the month of November trying to do what he can to get things moving again. We appreciate his dedication and hard work. Pray that the Lord will give him wisdom, bring truth to light, and give clarity where there is confusion.

Right now, since the DIA has suspended adoptions for US citizens the babies are being referred out to and subsequently adopted to French families.

Thank you for your prayers.

Painting the Nursery

The adoption process is a frustrating and sometimes difficult one. It is very important to maintain your sense of humor knowing God has a purpose and bring it all together for good even the setbacks.

The following the pitiful story is of my (Ashley) attempt to pain the nursery. Started in July and it was completed in September.

In July I thought I would keep myself busy by painting the nursery. So off I went to the home improvement store, you know the one where they say that they can help you build a small skyscraper. I thought since they can help you do so much, painting should be a snap. So, I went and picked a color, Lettuce, a fine color for a nursery if there ever was one. Just to be sure I consulted my friends at work and the consensus was unanimous. Lettuce it was! Not being a professional painter I did some research on the internet for tips so it would look oh so professional.

The next day I went to home improvement store, you know the one where they can help, and ordered a gallon on semi-gloss Lettuce. Remember I have not done very much painting so this was stepping out on a limb a bit. For those of you who do not know semi-gloss is a paint from the realm of evil and should be shunned and feared. I, however, did not know this so I merrily gave them my money and they happily took it while saying nothing of the sinister nature of this paint. Troubling isn’t it.

To make a very long story medium sized I put several coats on that night and went to bed thinking I was finished. The next morning I awoke to see paint that looked very uneven. I put several more coats on but much to my surprise this did not help at all. I finally went back to home improvement store for my money back because this paint was obviously defective.

It is at that point the kind people at the home improvement store explained to me the great difficulty that comes with working with semi-gloss paint. However, they did refund my money and gave me a new can of paint. Can’t complain about that. I went with eggshell this time, smart huh! After covering the semi gloss with eggshell I was relieved to see a normal looking paint job.

I happily began tearing away the side tape; you know the one that keeps you from going over the edge. Well, as the tape tore so did the paint all the way down to the wallboard!!!
This was not what I wanted! What to do? What to do?

I called the builder and they actually fixed the wallboard since there was some damage to it and in September the nursery was finally painted lettuce. A friend of mine asked me what it was that perhaps God was trying to teach me through all this. My thought..... never pick up a paint brush again.